The Diary of Melanie Martin: or How I Survived Matt the Brat, Michelangelo, and the Leaning Tower of Pizza

The Diary of Melanie Martin: or How I Survived Matt the Brat, Michelangelo, and the Leaning Tower of Pizza (Melanie Martin Novels) by Carol Weston

This was a perfectly adequate middle grades travel book written in a diary format.  Melanie is off to Italy with her parents and bratty six year old brother Matt.  She’s excited about the trip even though she’s missing a week of fourth grade.  They hit all the high spots in Italy with Melanie learning an important lesson about how much she values her family.

This was a slightly lower reading level than I’d expect given its audience, so it might work for some fourth graders who look for easier books.  It had slightly more pseudo-swearing and off-color humor than I’d look for in a book,  but this may prove appealing to the intended age group.  I did like the juxtaposition of a girl who’s trying to figure out liking boys and whether to wear a bra with her snuggling a hedgehog toy and being jealous of how much attention her parents give her brother.  That mix of still a being little girl and yet eager to grow up is very real, especially in this age group.

The book includes phonetic pronunciations of Italian words which is pretty cute, but may not be entirely accurate.

Great for: Fans of Marissa Moss’s Amelia series may enjoy another diary style book (albeit one with fewer pictures). This would also be a nice on-the-plane treat for middle grades girls heading to Europe for the first time.

Sex, Nudity, Dating –  Melanie and her best friend both like the same boy, but that boy won’t talk to either girl, so it’s okay.  Matt and a girl are in love.  They are in first grade.  Dad is half dressed one morning, wearing knee socks and boxer shorts. Melanie wears lipstick, eyeshadow and blush, which is a lot of make up for a ten year old.   At the Ufizzi Melanie and Matt run around pointing at all the naked people in the artwork.  They also see the David statue (note: David is naked) and laugh and point at his “you-know-what”.  Cecily dared Melanie to talk to her mom about “girl things” while in Italy.   There’s talk about when girls should start wearing bras.  Mom and Dad kiss. In Italy Dad runs into a former girlfriend.  A postcard shows a statue of a wolf nursing two naked baby boys (Romulus and Remus – you can see the actual statue here).  Matt and Melanie point and laugh at a statue where the man’s “you-know-what” is missing.
Profanity – “dork,” “brat,” “stupid,” “dum-dum,” “stinks,”  “dumb,” Melanie shares that her father has been cursing, “the H curse once and the D curse twice” “moron,” “h_ll”, hell,” “bratface,” “H-E-Double-Hockey-Sticks”, Melanie calls her brother “mental,” “anus” isn’t exactly profanity… “Butthead,” “turd,” “D curse,” “stupido”, “twerpy pea-brain”
Death, Violence and Gore – sibling squabbling means that Melanie sometimes “lightly” hits her brother.  Matt bit Melanie. Melanie tells Matt that she’s going to kill him.  We learn that Michelangelo cut up cadavers to learn more about anatomy. In a bed-jumping accident, Melanie gets a bloody cut on her eyebrow.  The painting The Last Judgment shows Jesus with the holes in his hands and feet from the nails on the cross.  Together Matt and Melanie sing a song about killing Barney the dinosaur.  They visit the Capuchin Crypt Cemetery which is decorated by the bones of monks.
Drugs, Alcohol and Smoking – The parents have champagne on the plane and Melanie says she hopes they’re not drunk.  Mom and Dad buy a bottle of liqueur at the airport.
Frightening or Intense Things – Matt is gets lost periodically. Dad’s wallet is stolen by a pickpocket.  There’s some questionable bike safety, with no one wearing helmets and six-year Matt just holding on tight to his father.