The Very Ordered Existence of Merilee Marvelous

The Very Ordered Existence of Merilee Marvelous by Suzanne Crowley

Merliee Monroe has her life organized just how she wants it.  Her time is carefully allocated using a schedule of her own making.  She has a too perfect younger sister, a nasty grandmother, pretty average parents and an uncle who is very special to her. Merilee is NOT happy when Biswick comes to town.  He’s infiltrating her special places and disrupting her schedule.  His impact on her life is enormous and permanent.

This book is generally shelved as J for Juvenile.  I would strongly disagree with that classification.  I can’t see the appeal of this book to anyone below middle school, nor do I think the themes covered in it are generally topics that younger readers should encounter.  A very large portion of this book will be revealed in the content review section below, so if you do not want spoilers, you certainly shouldn’t read that.  On the other hand, before you give this to a child, please read the book yourself or review the content.

Written in the style of Southern novel that includes an overwhelming number of quirky characters, this book is going to be very difficult for many readers.  Crowley gives you all sorts of random back story for townspeople that you don’t really need to know.  It’s the kind of local color you’ll see in lots of books about the south.  It’s just not particularly suited for young children.  Furthermore, major topics include death and alcoholism, so tread carefully.

Sex, Nudity, Dating – Grandma refers to a woman as the town floozy even though there’s no evidence that she’d ever had a boyfriend.  A girl smooches boys and developed young.  When Mama climbs a tree, you can see her underwear and a kid shouts out that they are purple.  A woman tells Merilee that ” Kissing don’t last”.  Two sisters fight over a man (who is the husband of one of them?)  People sneak off to smooch.  Merilee thinks about kissing Gideon.
Profanity – “dumb,” “stupidness,” “retarded,” “idiot,” “spaz,” “jackasses,” “morons,” “darn,” “damn,” “my butt,” “oh my God,” “sucks,” “damnation,” A grave marker reads “Mute Idiot”, “dumb-ass,” “Ass.”  At one point Merilee worries that Biswick’s father will shout obscenities. When he does come he says he won’t stand at “no _____ing podium.” His poems evidently include “a whole bucketload of bad words.”  “crap,” “jerkfool,” “son of a gun,” “pissant,”
Death, Violence and Gore – Uncle Dal tells a story about a goat herder who died looking for a treasure.  It contains nothing gory, no details really, just that he never came home from looking for it.  A boy gets pinched on the elbow.  Grandma threatens to “flay” people’s butts when they misbehave.  A woman hears her husband died in the war and dies herself immediately after. The sheriff once accidentally shot off his baby toe.  A story is told where a dragon kills a child.  Mama gets hit by a car, but doesn’t die although Merilee spends a lot of time worrying about what if she had died and that she still might die.  Grandma’s mother was mentally ill in some way and tried to abandon Grandma, but did actually abandon Grandma’s younger sister.  The baby sister died.  Her uncle’s wife died.  Mr. Porter died in the bathtub.  Biswick’s father died and is found by Merilee, although she doesn’t initally know he’s dead.  Biswick’s mother was run over by an 18-wheeler, he mentions she got “squished”.  Veraleen’s daughter died.  Evidently if a frog hops on you it is measuring your shroud.  Frogs and armadillos are squished.
Drugs, Alcohol and Smoking – A neighboring town is called Whiskey.  Grandma says Merilee’s mother thought of her name while “high on the birthing drugs.”  A woman chews tobacco.  Biswick’s dad is in the cemetery surrounded by beer bottles.  His father slurs his words before taking naps and sends Biswick out with money.  A woman holds a cigarette holder and pretends to smoke. Biswick’s father is an alcoholic.  He drinks throughout the book, all types of alcohol, is arrested for public drunkenness and is found dead in a dump.  Biswick’s mother drank throughout her pregnancy and as a result he has Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS).  Veraleen smokes throughout.
Frightening or Intense Things –Merilee says “God knows I don’t believe in him.”  Merilee is bullied. Her own grandmother obviously favors her sister. People at school throw wadded up paper at her.   A boy in the book had a hard childhood; his father left and his mother made up a lot of lies about his health.  His situation was reviewed and ultimately he returned to his mother’s care.  Grandma tells the kids if you watch someone disappear from sight you’ll never see them again.  A boy who wets the bed is made to sleep in it for days before his family will wash the sheets.  A mother is taken away from a family for being responsible for her child’s death.  Veraleen abandoned her family. Biswick’s mother left him alone at the apartment when she went and got run over by the truck.  Biswick has bruises all over his arm from his father.  Biswick and Merilee become lost and hide in a cave during a storm.

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